Conditional Reality

Deadbolt Saddlestitch had put on a lot of weight over the years. His poundage was twice the median for men his height. This did not trouble him until his doctor told him he was overdue for a seriously massive heart attack. This upset Deadbolt very much. He promptly swore off all doctors for good. Deadbolt lived into his eighties. He went to the funeral of his former doctor, suppressing a smile as he sat in the back of the church, taking up half a pew. It’s not my fault, Deadbolt whispered to the air. It’s just the way I’m made.