29 June 2005
Posterity
Lemonade Hotplate grew his hair to an exceptional length. He required a team of stylists just to wash and dry the yards of it. When Lemonade died he willed his hair to a museum that specialized in weird objects. Each week visitors voted on what shade the museum should color Lemonade’s hair. Red was most popular, but any particular week it was possible to see Lemonade’s hair tinted silver, brown, or even blond. Lemonade’s great grandson, upon viewing the cascade of locks, slumped to the floor. I’m flying, he said in a shaky voice. Museum guards brought him smelling salts.