Conditional Reality

The archaeologists asked to do a dig on Mainspring Homebody’s skull. It seemed like a fun idea, so Mainspring agreed. The archaeologists secured his head, roped off plots, tapped in stakes, and began excavating material. How’s it going up there? asked Mainspring. Find anything yet? A cache of memories from when you were two months old, they answered. Also some fossilized grudges you’ve kept for a while. A baseball glove you lost when you were nine. Nothing too exciting yet. Well, said Mainspring, something’s not right. I’m very lightheaded. That’s completely normal, said the archaeologists. That’s a perfectly normal reaction.