14 November 2005
Born in an art gallery. Raised by paintings. Teethed on ornate frames. Tutored by security officers. Episodes of mischief included knocking over sculptures. Favorite secret hiding places were closets of visible storage. Occasionally looked through gallery windows at outside world. Sought permission to hang self from gallery ceiling with fish hooks. Permission refused. Settled for piece called Lunch which entailed ordering a delivery pizza and eating it in the main exhibition hall at precisely noon every day for a year. Strangely elated by tepid reviews in art press. Current piece is called Death to Come. Performance to last several decades.