01 October 2006


A Mouse Reminisces

Call me Double Blind. My great great grandparents were lab mice, and all the generations since, so I come by it honestly. It’s a family tradition. Mazes were the best, because you got food at the end. I pretended to have trouble just so I could do more trials. Lots of cheese and peanut butter, yum. I could have done without all the chemically induced cancer, but, hey, you take the good with the bad, right? I can’t complain. They did a study: on average lab mice live longer than wild mice. Isn’t that nice? Yup. I’m one lucky rodent.

"Call me Double Blind." I love it! Am I the only one who thinks this lab rodent might be named Moby Mouse?

I like the idea of a lab mouse that tricks the experimenters to get more food. Who controls the controllers?

Nice one!
Double Blind's book will have long intros to each chapter which describe, in painstaking detail, the construction of lab cages, the working of lab latches, and the navigational techniques used inside lab mazes - and for the first decades after publication librarians will shelve his memoir in engineering or behavioral science until someone suddenly realizes that The Great White Lab Coat is a symbol of obsession and hubris and the Great White Rodent is us and then look out, English classes, because Double Blind will be on your syllabus, straight off the classics shelf.
Yeah, Moby Mouse, I like it. I have often thought that psychological experiments on animals say a lot more about the experimenters than the animals.

And Double Blind's memoir destined to be a classic? That would be marvelous indeed.

I am so lucky to have such generous and perceptive readers. Thank you both for your comments.
I'd like to read the rest of this memoir. Now please.
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