28 February 2006


The Metaphysics of Nutrition

Seastack Powerloom used to make elaborate sandwiches involving sliced meat, lettuce, onions, tomatoes, mayo, several seasonings, and several varieties of cheese. She stopped this practice once she realized that when a sandwich reaches a certain level of complexity, it becomes haunted. It isn’t my fault, she used to tell people who ate her elaborate sandwiches and then wept uncontrollably, as though they were possessed. Seastack saw this chain of events repeated many times and decided it would be only simple sandwiches after that. Two slices of bread, a dab of mustard, a piece of sliced turkey, and she was done.


Oh, man.

But then:

Iceheart Armorstick showed up at Seastack's house one afternoon. Her shoulders were so tight they were located approximately around her ears, and her knuckles were white, even though her hands were always empty. She was very thin. Seastack made Iceheart a sandwich involving twenty-seven kinds of spices, six kinds of meat, four different cheeses, and topped it with one long, carefully constructed carrot shaving in the shape of a Viking ship sailing the ocean. When Iceheart finished weeping and eating, she started laughing, and said: no one ever loved me until now.
A great sequel! Thanks.
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