13 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Empathy
Moondust Happenstance found a pen with an infinite supply of ink. Moondust used the pen for decades. When he was ninety years old he gave the pen to his granddaughter. She wrote a few thousand diary entries with it. She lost the pen in the ocean while on a cruise. It ended up in a whale’s stomach. The pen broke. The ink poured out of the pen, escaped the whale, and colored the ocean a deep black. Some of the ink lapped up on land and seeped into graveyards. Some if it flowed into Moondust’s grave. It stained his bones.
Labels: Metaphysics
12 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Enrichment
We went to Mexico and lived between jaguars. Our English lowered far from us like the leaves that fell of a tree. We were in favor naked of a time, without words and raked by the elements. Jaguars demonstrated to us what to do. We put ignition the shelter of the Spanish and lived the world on the Spanish. Our vocabulary contracted to some hundreds words. We opened our hearts in the simplicity of diminished horizons and we did not feel any deprivation. When we returned to house, the alcohol of jaguars came with us and the English was transformed.
Labels: Metaphysics
11 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Aberration
Ray and Roy were identical twins, adopted and raised by different families at birth. They did not find out about each other until their fiftieth year when they finally met and compared their lives. Roy and Ray both taught high school science and were both married to women named Carol. They subscribed to the same magazines and both injured their left foot in a fall three days after their twelfth birthdays. They both collected snowflakes and preserved them in plastic. Roy and Ray enthusiastically examined each other’s collections and found many snowflakes that were exactly the same in every detail.
Labels: Metaphysics
10 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Ambition
Dumbsupper Hatbrim always said nothing was going to stop her from becoming rich and famous. Unfortunately, Dumbsupper had an accident and died. Everyone thought that was the end of Dumbsupper’s striving, but she didn’t see it that way. She started a business hiring herself out as a haunting presence at parties and on the sets of horror movies. In no time at all she was in such demand that she was forced to turn business away. She liked giving interviews. Death has been good to me, she would tell feature writers. It has taught me that nothing is impossible. Nothing.
Labels: Metaphysics
09 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Protection
The seatbelts left bruises on our chests that we noticed after the crash. The paramedics told us this was perfectly normal. The pain wasn’t awful, but it lasted for weeks. Suddenly being in a car felt too dangerous for sane people. We had a wild impulse to wear football equipment the next time we drove. The bruises were a constant reminder of the mishap. Clouds, patches of dead grass, and the patterns behind our closed eyelids were constant reminders of the bruises. We consulted a maker of umbrellas for advice. She said rain falls on everyone. And it’s just water.
Labels: Metaphysics
08 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Decay
Eksray Dollhouse retired from his job at the recycling center and took up painting. He was especially partial to still lifes of rotting fruits and vegetables, the smellier and blacker the better. Eksray’s friends accepted his paintings when he offered them as gifts, but none hung them on any of their walls. They were hoping Eksray would eventually turn to painting fresh fruits and vegetables. They sent him bowls of just-picked produce for inspiration. Eksray contemplated the offerings for hours. He poured paint on them and took photographs, then left the pictures in the rain until they dissolved into mush.
Labels: Metaphysics
07 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Charity
Upstream Powerloss made some bad business deals, lost his house and job, and ended up on the streets. He found a corner at the end of an off ramp where he held up a cardboard sign saying Anything Will Help and God Bless. It wasn’t until Upstream had been homeless for a couple of weeks that he started generating any kind of income from his corner. It took him that long to really start looking scruffy and pathetic. When he took dollar bills that people offered him from their open car windows, Upstream was careful not to touch their hands.
Labels: Metaphysics
06 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Error
Sandcastle Uproar was knot the beast proofreader anyone had ever scene, but she worked hat a hack add dim ick small press. Spel lung and gram mar is not hen exact sigh hence, she used to say, so I down try too be par fact. San Kastle had in accomadating boss who dint expect a grate deal from her and loved her scents of home mar. Thanks to San Case Sell, he said, oar press pub lushes many ink cohere ant books. Whee have a ripe pew tea shun four chill lunge ink books that reword close ink speck shun.
Labels: Metaphysics
05 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Identity
Dandelion Streetscape signed her checks with an indecipherable scrawl. People often asked her if she was a doctor. No, Dandelion told them, I’ve just always had terrible handwriting. With such a signature, they said, you could give medical advice and people would listen to you. Oh no, said Dandelion, I would never do anything like that. But she thought about it often. Sometimes, when she put her hands on people, she imagined she really was a healer and sometimes the people would get better. Dandelion practiced signing her name over and over, making sure it was as illegible as possible.
Labels: Metaphysics
04 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Dissent
Tripod Sillyseason offered parliament a proposition. If the vote on a particular bill goes at least ninety five percent on one side, he said, I can design a system that will lock out all opposing votes. I can, in effect, make such votes unanimous, which would make parliament appear stronger and more cohesive to the electorate. Parliamentary officials mulled over Tripod’s proposal. They asked if such a system could be deployed in general elections, enabling members to be returned with unanimous support from their constituents. Tripod bowed his head with deep ceremony. Yes, he said reverently, it can be done.
Labels: Metaphysics
03 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Inheritance
Grassland Undertow’s grandmother died. She had wanted to be buried in her backyard. Grassland made sure her wish was honored. She planted an apple tree over her grandmother’s grave. Years later Grassland bought her grandmother’s house and moved in. The branches grew over the roof of the house. Apples fell from the tree and bounced on the roof. Grassland thought of her grandmother whenever she picked an apple from the tree. When Grassland was very old, she thought someone was at the door. She opened it. No one was there, but Grassland sensed the aroma of her grandmother’s apple pie.
Labels: Metaphysics
02 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Power
Clipclop Stethoscope washed windows on high rise buildings. People in the offices behind the windows got to know him and would wave when his platform descended into view. Clipclop always waved back. He liked watching suits doing the work of the world behind his zigzagging squeegee. One day Clipclop’s employer switched to automatic window washing machines. They offered Clipclop the job of operating the computer system that ran the machines. Clipclop wasn’t interested. He started his own business, washing the windows of suburban houses. Clipclop worked harder than ever before. He cleaned so well, the glass seemed to disappear completely.
Labels: Metaphysics
01 March 2006
The Metaphysics of Probability
Tail head head tail head tail head tail head head tail tail tail head head tail head head head tail head tail tail head head tail tail tail head head head head head head head head head tail tail tail head tail tail head tail tail tail head tail head head tail head head tail tail tail tail tail tail head tail head head head head tail head head head head tail tail tail tail head tail head head head head tail tail tail tail head head tail tail tail head head tail head head tail head head tail edge.
Labels: Metaphysics
28 February 2006
The Metaphysics of Nutrition
Seastack Powerloom used to make elaborate sandwiches involving sliced meat, lettuce, onions, tomatoes, mayo, several seasonings, and several varieties of cheese. She stopped this practice once she realized that when a sandwich reaches a certain level of complexity, it becomes haunted. It isn’t my fault, she used to tell people who ate her elaborate sandwiches and then wept uncontrollably, as though they were possessed. Seastack saw this chain of events repeated many times and decided it would be only simple sandwiches after that. Two slices of bread, a dab of mustard, a piece of sliced turkey, and she was done.
Labels: Metaphysics
27 February 2006
The Metaphysics of Perception
Saltlick Carwax moved his living room furniture onto the street in front of his house. He spent most evenings on his couch in the southbound lane watching his tv in the northbound lane. Reception was exceptionally good. Saltlick was delirious with happiness. Traffic eased slowly around him and his coffee table. The drivers usually waved and smiled at him. At first Saltlick waved back. This got to be tedious so after a while the drivers just disappeared. Saltlick saw only empty cars negotiating the tricky route past his end tables. Amazing, muttered Saltlick. Never thought I’d see something like that.
Labels: Metaphysics
26 February 2006
The Metaphysics of Gratitude
Efstop Supperclub recorded the termites eating his house. He slowed the tape way down, stretching ten seconds of termite chewing into half an hour of recorded sound. The result was a music of strange beauty, with surging rushes of resonance interleaved with contemplative stretches of a complex melody. Efstop offered the tape to a record company that featured the sounds of nature. They had previously released recordings of crackling cornstalks, chirping crickets, and horse hooves in full gallop. The suits listened with interest. Efstop trembled and mourned the death of his house. The termites sensed his discomfort. They chewed faster.
Labels: Metaphysics
